That Proud Feeling

This isn't going to be a very long post, as I'm not feeling so well today. I had a hellish night, thanks to a raging Interstitial Cystitis flare, so I am in need of a nap.

Things have been difficult since my grandparents passed in May. I felt so much grief and disconnected. From everything. I still saw beauty in things, but I could not bring myself to sit and design jewelry like I used to. The spark wasn't there. It actually started last year at this time, when Pap was taken away. I had surgery the same month. All these traumatic life events happening at the same time, and took my creativity.

It's hard to do anything creative when your mind is somewhere else. Equally as hard when the Endometriosis, i.c, and fibromyalgia, flare all at once from all the stress. Slowly but surely, I feel like I am making progress and coming around.

With all that in mind, I decided to design bracelets in memory of Vietnam Veterans. My father is a Vet, and I member and official writer for the Children of Vietnam Veteran's Health Alliance. I have been making and selling three styles of bracelets for less than a year, but just recently got a message that really touched my heart.





That right there. THAT'S why I choose to keep designing.

If you are the child of a Vietnam Vet, or know of one, please direct them to covvha (dot) net for support and information.
Below are the three styles I designed on sale at my etsy store.



If you are interested in the essays I wrote, just search for Willow on the site!

Just Breathe

This is where I grew up; the stream down the street from my Grandparents. I thought it was such a magical place. I loved spending weekends at their house, especially in the spring and summers. I was never one to be cooped up in the house for long, so I would spend most my time exploring the flora and fauna in their small village. I could spend hours up and down the creek beds, looking for crabs and frogs.


There are large willows along the water, where I got my name. It was a tree that captivated my attention. It wasn't like the dogwoods or oaks I would climb, but unique. They gave me shade on hot summer days, and hypnotize me with their swaying branches. I would tell them my secrets, and they would answer with a whisper of leaves. Maybe it was the dryads inside. I saw the magic in them, and they in me.


Some of the best memories of my pap were on that very wall in the photo. He would take my sister and I fishing, sometimes my cousins, too. He was sometimes impatient when my sister refused to bait the hook. She wasn't the tomboy that I was! But, he had his special way of talking and pronouncing things, singing silly songs and making me smile. It wasn't 'fishing,' for example, it was 'feeshing.' They aren't scissors, they're 'skissors.' Just the little things.

I remember one time, when he caught a particularly robust bass, he asked me to carry home. In my hands. While it was still all alive and wiggly. I made it about two steps, when I dropped the thrashing fish in the red dog gravel. He was more than a little annoyed. But, typically Pap doesn't stay mad for very long. I would give him the pouty lip, and the watery eyes, thinking he was about to yell as my dad would, but Pap just gave me a sideways glance, faux anger from the corner of his eye. Then, he would smirk, and I would smile in return. I would give everything I have to see that look again.


I think a lot about growing up with my grandparents, and how lucky I am to have lived so close to them. I was mostly a tomboy and just a touch girly girl, but I absolutely loved the time outside with pap. We walked at least five miles a day in the summers, and spent hours at the park, watching him drive golf balls back and forth.
They both passed on just this past May, and it's been difficult for my family. Winter is coming, and cannot spend much more time by the wall and under the willows. I know Mother Nature needs time to rest, and I need to turn within for healing. I look forward to the spring, though, when I can call on pap's spirit to join me on a walk. Sometimes, I feel such despair, but if mythology has taught me anything, I know hope lies just below.

 Rest in peace, Pap. I hope you're fishing and playing golf. And goosing Gram ;) xoxo

A Fairy Went A-Marketing

I woke up with this on my mind, and I'm not sure why. It was one of my favorite poems as a child, I knew it by heart. I remember sitting on my mom's lap, or cuddled in bed with my sister, and we would read it together. They are partly responsible for my love of reading.
Perhaps I can design a headpiece or necklace inspired by this very poem.


A Fairy Went A-Marketing
by
Rose Fyleman

A Fairy went a-marketing--
She bought a little fish;
She put it in a crystal bowl
Upon a golden dish.
An hour she sat in wonderment
And watched its silver gleam,
And then she gently took it up
And slipped it in a stream.
A fairy went a-marketing--
She bought a colored bird;
It sang the sweetest, shrillest song
That ever she had heard.
She sat beside its painted cage
And listened half the day,
And then she opened wide the door
And let it fly away.


A fairy went a-marketing--
She bought a winter gown
All stitched about with gossamer
And lined with thistledown.
She wore it all the afternoon
With prancing and delight,
Then gave it to a little frog
To keep him warm at night.

A fairy went a-marketing
She bought a gentle mouse
To take her tiny messages,
To keep her tiny house.
All day she kept its busy feet
Pit-patting to and fro,
And then she kissed its silken ears,
Thanked it, and let it go.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Bracelet by Chandini Gems

I worked for a looong time the other day, trying to get this right. I was in a great deal of pain, the medications only do so much. It makes it difficult to concentrate, and I felt like quitting more than once. But still, I wanted to create something for Breast Cancer Awareness that I could add to my Etsy Shop. I think I designed something quite beautiful and easy to wear. Here is a preview of it, before I list it on Etsy. I made it from elastic, as opposed to a clasp end. It's is made for all sizes.

What do you think? Have you worn the color pink yet in support of Breast Cancer Awareness?? You still have a few weeks left to show your love!

The Siren In Me

I find myself on Polyvore or Pinterest on low spoon days. It is a way I can still be creative and find inspirations. The following is a few of the sets I have created thus far. What do you think? How would you describe me given the fashion and images below?

P.S Don't know what 'low spoons' refers to? read more here..http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ She explains it better than I ever could, and gave me a way to explain the conditions to others in a more effective way. I was diagnosed with Severe Endometriosis, Interstitial Cystitis, and Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue about 13 years ago, and believe me when I say it has been a difficult path for me.

The Siren In Me by willowsong81 featuring blue sky jewelry

All my Loves

One of my biggest passions is dancing. Maybe more so than designing jewelry. I feel the Divine Spark, the breath of life coursing through when I move. Even when there is no music, I can find a song in my heart. I am a trained dancer; that is where my heart lies. It wasn't until the chronic health issues that my true love was affected. I never realized how lucky I was before. To move, jump, shimmy, etc to the beat, without pain. Without counting minutes or spoons like I do now. I know it's wrong to be envious of others, but I find myself feeling that way when I watch others with unlimited opportunities and perfect health, let it slip away.

I am learning to accept my limitations and body as it is. I can still dance on good days, although they've been fewer and far between. I won't give up, though. I may sneak a belly dance, or a few steps of Kathak (represented by the bells and Nataraja Statue below) when the moment is right. I may not be able to move for long, but my body will build up its strength again. I focus on quality and satisfaction of the movements, rather than an unlimited amount. That's not important.


Do you have similar tastes?

All my Loves by willowsong81 featuring bronze bookends

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

It's October again. Here in my neck of the woods, it means cooling temperatures, leaves changing, hoodies, bonfires, and the approach of Samhain/Halloween. But, it also means Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
   I, like many others, have been personally effected by Breast Cancer through loved ones. I wanted to honor them in my own special way, so I created a bracelet using the pink ribbon charms. I took me a few tries to get it the way I wanted; it had to be unique and beautiful, just like those souls that passed. As well as the survivors and their family and friends.
 I am working on some more one of a kind Pink Ribbon Bracelets today, but am having a hard time. I was diagnosed with a number of chronic illnesses about fifteen years ago, and having a serious flare today. Sometimes, when I try creating something when I feel this awful, it doesn't turn out so great. I usually end up taking it apart. But, I really want to power through and make something amazing. We shall see.

     This one of a kind is on sale in my Etsy store now. You can scroll through my Etsy Shop at the top, and click the link, or follow it here....
               

https://www.etsy.com/listing/104455849/handmade-breast-cancer-awareness-pink?